Sometimes I don't know how to parent these little people that live at my house. I'm trying to be more patient with them, but it's so hard sometimes. Here's a sample of what I caught myself saying just the other day:
"Brandon, don't handcuff the baby to the piano!" [as one end of the plastic handcuffs were going around the baby's foot and the other end around the leg of the piano.]
"Brandon, sidewalk chalk does not go on the garage door or on the stucco"
"Ainsley, don't run across the carpet with your chalky, dirty feet."
And seriously, why do we make dinner anyway? Some days, I think we should just grate a big block of cheese and open a can of olives and let them go to town.
Here are some things I've learned while being a parent:
I've learned that once a child turns 7 years old, everything you say to that child will either be followed by the phrase "Why do I have to..." or "Why can't I..."
I've learned that a MegaBlaster super soaker holds an enormous amount of water, and that the volume of water seems exponentially greater when the super soaker finds its way into the kitchen.
I've learned that even though I have an MBA, I no longer know the difference between a vowel, a consonant, or a suffix, thus making me totally unqualified to help with second grade homework.
I've learned that if I don't handle the situation carefully, trying to help a child learn "Grammar Rule #9" can cause the whole family to melt down into total chaos.
I've learned that, while Moonsand sounds like a good idea at the time, it is actually a creation of the devil.
I've learned that you don't really want to know what happens to Moonsand when it gets wet.
I've learned to hate "Grammar Rule #9."
I've learned that an entire roll of paper towels is not sufficient to clean up all of the water from a MegaBlaster super soaker, mixed with moonsand. ("Bounty...the quicker-picker-upper"...my eye!)
I've learned that there are really bad consequences when a five-year old child eats an entire can of olives.
I've learned that there's nothing that can make a dad more proud than watching his child score their first goal, or ride a two-wheeler for the first time.
I've learned that nothing is better than when a child spontaneously puts their arms around your neck and hugs you and tells you they love you.
What have YOU learned? Post some things you have learned while being a parent in our 'comments' section below.